krazzybollywood: August 2009

Fwd: COOL FUNNY COMPUTER LION WEBCAM

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COOL FUNNY LION COMPUTER WEBCAM

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Fwd: Gift Your Girlfriend A Lingerie & Track Her By GPS (HE HE)

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Gift Your Girlfriend A Lingerie & Track Her By GPS

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Fwd: Supernatural Power ( Cool Jokes )

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Supernatural Power ( Cool Jokes )

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There was this case in this hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed on Friday mornings around 9am regardless of their age, gender, medical history or medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural: Why did death occur at that same bed around the same time every Friday?

So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause of the deaths.

Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. The new (unknowing) patient laid there.

Some doctors held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil...and they waited.

8am, the patient was still alive...

8.30am...still breathing...

Just before the 'cursed' time, the door to the ward swung open...

Then At Exact 9.00 Am, the part-time Friday cleaner, comes in and unplugs the life support system so that she can use the vacuum cleaner!

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Fwd: Cool New Natural Photography

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Cool New Natural Photography

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Fwd: One in a million shot ...

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One in a million shot ...

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A smile from God !

Send God's smile to someone you want to bless today,

I just did ............

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Fwd: MISS INDIA EKTA CHOWDHARY IN BIKINI AT MISS UNIVERSE

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MISS INDIA EKTA CHOWDHARY IN BIKINI AT MISS UNIVERSE

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http://tinyurl.com/n57kkx

http://tinyurl.com/n57kkx

http://tinyurl.com/n57kkx

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Fwd: Skeleton Computer Case

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LATEST NEW FUNNY COOL GADGETS

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Fwd: Tv Actress Anita Hassanandani Hot Glamorous Photoshoot

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Tv Actress Anita Hassanandani Hot Glamorous Photoshoot

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Fwd: Chinese Call Centre (Funny)

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Chinese Call Centre (Funny)

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Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me..

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to
me.. Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan .. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But
what's this urgent matter
about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan
was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.
Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn't
an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for
this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree ..

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..

Caller: Oh .....God.... ...

From --
Good Wan!

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Fwd: Wedding Saving Passbook (Nice Story) FOrward Please....

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Wedding Saving Passbook (Nice Story)

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Monica married Nick this day. At the end of the wedding party, Monica's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Nick.

When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'

Monica shared this with Nick when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made. This was what they did after certain time:

* 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Nick after marriage
* 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica
* 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
* 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant
* 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Nick got promoted
* ..... And so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... No more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Monica talked to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!"

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first.

Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.

When she was home, she handed the passbook to Nick, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Nick gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.

"When you fall in any way, don't see the place where you fell instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."

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Fwd: Free Firewall Protect Your PC from Hackers

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Free Firewall Protect Your PC from Hackers

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Fwd: Software Engineer And His Wife

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Software Engineer And His Wife

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Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer.

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Fwd: Extra Marital Affairs (Funny Read & Enjoy)

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Extra Marital Affairs

Full collection of humor articles
Click To Join Us

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."

"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"

The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"

The 3rd Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

The 4th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

The 5th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

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Fwd: Wishful Thinking (18+ Only)

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Wishful Thinking

Gwen was one of those UGLY women, so she never had a boyfriend.

So she went to a psychic for help.

Honey! - said the psychic. You will not have luck in love in this life.

But after death, you will be a much desired woman and all men will fall at

your feet.

Gwen left very happy and so excited, as she went over a bridge she

thought: "The sooner I die, the sooner my next life begins"

She decided to jump off the bridge right away.

But, incredibly Gwen didn't die!

She fell on the back of a truck full of bananas; she lost her senses and fainted.

As soon as she recovered, still drowsy and not being able to see very well,

and not knowing where she was, she started touching her surroundings.

Feeling all the bananas she mumbled with a huge smile on her face and

said:

"GENTLEMEN, PLEASE!,... ONE AT A TIME!"

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Fwd: Item Girl Sherlyn Chopra Hot Burning Photos

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Fwd: Eleven Great Ways to Reduce Stress

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Eleven Great Ways to Reduce Stress
By Dr S. Tamer

Stress is a big challenge in life nowadays.
The sources of stress are many and the helpful ways to reduce stress are also plentiful.
Common symptoms of stress include skin problems, stomach ulcers, high blood pressure, fatigue, insomnia and frustration.

We don't need to set a time to reduce stress, we need to incorporate some strategies in our daily life routine to prevent stress and reduce its effect on the body.

Here are 11 simple steps we can easily take to reduce stress:

1. Define your goals: we must define our life goals and begin to achieve these goals; this action will support us against stress because we will feel that we know what our life purpose is and why, and that we control our own lives.

2. Take control of your diet: we can use simple ways in our diet plans to reduce stress by avoiding some stimulants such as coffee, alcohol, tea and sugar and we can use chamomile tea as an alternative because of its calming and relaxing effect.
We need to eat slowly in a calm environment to allow our digestive system to work well.
We can use honey as an alternative to sugar but in small amounts (one or two spoonfuls per day).

3. Take hot baths regularly: after a very busy day or when we feel that we need to relax (I do this three times a week).
You can take a hot bath by sitting in warm to hot water and the water level should be above the waist, using lavender oil can also enhance this relaxing experience.

4. Aromatherapy: in the office you can use aromatherapy to relax and avoid stress.
One of the best ways is to use lavender oil on a source of heat and take in the scent; this is a great way to relax during the day when you need it the most.

5. Exercise: This is one of the important things you can do which will reduce stress and bring happiness.
When we exercise, our brains release substances which bring feelings of happiness and relaxation; we need engage in some exercise regularly such as walking, dancing or swimming.

6. Breathing techniques: Yoga, meditation and Tai Chi all use deep breathing techniques.
To meditate, simply sit with closed eyes and concentrate on your breathing.
Breathing deeply regularly is great for health and from there, you can learn various other breathing techniques to gain enhanced benefits.

7. Relaxation techniques and self hypnotherapy: we can easily do this after the hot bath to relax even more, simply sit or lie down in a comfortable place with your eyes closed, imagine there is a spot light above your head and concentrate on it, then concentrate on your body part by part and try to relax the body and feel the relaxation deepening -- you can also use a self hypnotherapy audio tape to help in this process.

8. Massage: this is a great way to reduce stress, I do this when other ways fail, I feel better after receiving a massage.
You can get a professional massage or you can simply ask your partner to massage you.

9. Spiritual healing: prayers and the act of helping others are very important components for happiness and stress reduction.
You will feel calmer and have a sense of inner peace.

10. Talking through your problems: talking about your feelings acts as a releasing mechanism and you will soon find that talking about your problems with your partner or best friend may help the solution to the problem come to light and will help to release blocked emotions.

11. Multivitamins: I take a Vitamin B complex regularly to decrease stress and this has been a great help in my stress reduction.

I hope that you find these suggestions helpful, my hope in sharing this information with you is that you can benefit from it.
Reading about this is not enough to reduce stress, you must take action.

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